The Story

To get my full story please look at these posts.

The Labor
The Trauma
The Diagnosis

Or just read this. I was induced and had a natural birth, which I thought was going to be the hardest part of my hospital stay. After my baby was born, I had a Uterine Inversion during the detachment of my placenta, where my uterus turned inside out and came out to join the birthday party. I was rushed to the OR, knocked out, and given 4 blood transfusions. Everything got put back in place the right way.

I somehow managed to  get everything ready to start nursing school when my baby was 5 weeks old. After several months of feeling like I was crazy and just couldn't get over my birth, I went to my teacher to say I quit. We talked me out of it and suggested that I see a therapist. I took her advise and saw a counselor and ended up getting diagnosed with PTSD.

I am now a month away from graduating. I chose to spend my senior capstone at the floor this all happened. I have always wanted to be a L&D nurse, so I decided if I can handle it there than I can go anywhere. Well, the journey there showed me several things. One, that I am stronger than I ever imagined. I cried the whole way there my first day, but each moment it got easier. I couldn't look at the hallway of my room for a while. Now I can walk in the room without much thought. (But I have yet to see a delivery there. That might be a different story.) I also learned that my life is destined to do something more than just be a nurse in a hospital. I need to be the voice for moms who have had a traumatic birth. We have very few resources, and you have to dig hard to find the ones that are out there. I don't know what I really want to do, but I know that when I get there people will know that there is more than Postpartum Depression and all of us will know where to go. We won't feel alone. And we will know that we aren't crazy.

So this is me, sharing my story. I hope that you find this in your time of need and know that it does get better!!