husband

My husband and I had a good talk the other night. It started out simple enough. We went to Breaking Dawn. I sat there innocently enough then all of a sudden they were giving Bella a baby she hadn't met. Thats when the panic attack started. She missed those first couple days. Jake had met the baby and she didn't. That was it. I ran out of the theater and cried and cried in the hallway like a crazy person. I came back and he asked if I was ok. Nope. Not ok. But he did the best thing for me. "do you need to hold my hand." Not do I want to. Would I like to. But need. And at that moment I needed my husband. I had never needed him more in my life. Later on we were lying in bed going to sleep and then all of a sudden I coudn't control it anymore. I just started shaking. And he held me tighter than he ever had. It was the first time we really talked about how this has impacted me. I didn't realize how different I have been. But he made me feel safe for the first time in months. He acknowledged that what I'm feeling is ok. He said that we will make it through this. It was the best thing that could have happened. He isn't the one to talk to about feelings and here he is talking about nothing but emotions and mental issues. Its hard to really put into words, but I really wish we talked about this earlier.