You know, people don't really like to talk about mental illness too much. They don't like to admit that the time after having a baby can potentially be the worst for the mom and she really isn't enjoying it. But, you want to know what people hate to talk about even more? Maternal death.
Yes, moms still die during or after childbirth. For something as straight forward as insert baby and 9 months later remove baby, a lot can go wrong--terribly wrong. And if it does, we are expected to just be grateful that the baby is here and happy. That is crap. Where is the support for mom? Where is the extra help? We. Almost. Died.
I was rushed to the OR and the only thing I thought of was Chris raising our girls alone.
But, there is the conundrum. The moment a baby is born, the woman joins the mom club, where nothing is about her anymore, but about the life of the baby. She has the support and opinions of all the moms who have been before her. She now has something in common with half the world, when she didn't a mere 20 seconds ago. That is awesome!
My mom. I missed my girls meeting each other. Note the empty space in the back where a bed is supposed to be.
Unfortunately for some, we also join the maternal complication mom club. This one isn't so welcoming. Mainly, because no one knows who your fellow members are. No one wants to hear your horror story. Our membership is quiet. No one wants to know. So here I am. Standing up to say that I had a birth complication. I have survived. Heck, I am still surviving. Feeling alone was one of my worst feelings following my daughters birth, and I vow that no one I know will have that feeling too.
I hate this picture because I look horrible.
But, I also hate it because you can't see the blood warmer in my arm the nurses were excited to use for the first time.
I wish I remember what it looked like. That's the nurse in me. :)
Let's celebrate birth. Let's celebrate living. Let's celebrate life.
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